Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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