Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
