I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
