Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
