when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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