Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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