Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
