i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
