The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
