So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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