The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
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