Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
