My hair reeks of homosexuality.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
