; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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