Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
