There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
