Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
