were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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