You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
