But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
don't judge my taste in strippers
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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