im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Sober January is a disaster.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
