the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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