They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
