I'm laying in your front yard are you home
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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