we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
