But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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