a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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