dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
