I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
