What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
