its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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