Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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