i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
