This is not my ceiling
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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