Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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