How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
