Whod you bang
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
