lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Boobs speak an international language.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize
