Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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