I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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