So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
