I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
