Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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