So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
