He disabled his match.com account in front of me
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
This toilet bowl is my home.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
