**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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