I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
