from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
