I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
