wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize