Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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