You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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