You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
