you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
